billege

Wow, "beyond offensive." That's pretty good. If I'd actually called you names, I wonder what level of offense that would have been?

And your "rage?" Give me a break lady. If you're feeling "rage" because: someone you don't know, whose life will (in all probability) never affect yours more directly than a text message, made a post you felt commented negatively on your plans, then you've got some seriously thin skin.

If you’ll take a look at what I’m offering:

I said "If you're serious about getting married, do it. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow and die. Life is too short to dick around." It is, you could.

Did I say you were?

No, and tied to my post's general statements -- relating to the many couples I've personally experienced "dicking around" (so to speak) -- and never getting married, the implication *should* be that "dicking around" can result in not actually getting married.

A few sentences later, "I understand the distance factor, and the money factor, and all that stuff. If you're ready to get married, MAKE IT HAPPEN, don't dick around wasting everyone's time." Do you feel you're "dicking around," that my words applied to you? I've talked to parents whose kids "dick around" during long engagements. Those kids can't ever decide on a location, they can't choose this, they change their minds, etc, etc. They put those who love them through a long, tough wait. Many, though not all, times they're just avoiding the commitment they've pledged themselves to. Are you doing this? Well.....no one will know for sure until you say "I do." That's the tough reality to this whole "marriage thing." Until you are married, you haven't done it yet, and everyone should be wondering (maybe a little, maybe a lot) if you really will.

I've met plenty of people, my sibling included, who had a date, a budget, and a date far into the future. Guess what? They were every bit as sincere as you. They reacted as badly to anyone questioning them, and they're every bit as unmarried now, as they were then.

I'd say good for you, make your plans and get married, but don't waste time. If you're not wasting time, and have faith in yourself, where's all the anger coming from?
Marriage is a wonderful thing, and I hope you do it.

Do I generally doubt young people with long engagements, hell yes.
Should that matter to you? That's up to you isn't it?


As to your asking for opinions.

You didn't want opinions. I think:
You wanted validation. You wanted other posters to tell you what you're doing is a great thing, all your reasons are reasonable and sane, justified.

You wanted to hear success stories from people who did something like you, and how wonderful it was. You wanted support. You didn’t want me offering doubt.

To say you didn't like that, I think, is an understatement.

I suppose if I was someone else, someone older and wiser, my method would have been sweeter to your ears. I guess I suck like that.

I stand by what I said. I see no point, not one, where I personally attacked you, and I don't intend to. You said I feel your relationship is a waste of time.
On the contrary, I spent time writing this, and time writing that, because I think you are worth time.
I also think wisdom and knowledge is gained through intelligent thought. You aren’t thinking if you’re not at least addressing contrary opinion and/or doubts. Hopefully, you’d overcome them all, and get your wedding.

I still say: I don't think a couple who's been dating all of 5 months (and got engaged at the 2!! month mark), is young, in college, long distance, and setting a 3 year engagement is overly likely to actually GET married.

People look at you oddly, shocked, because they might be older, have seen more, and KNOW that your chances of actually doing that are far from "bettin' odds."

You said you don't understand that. I offered you the reasoning behind someone who WOULD look at you like that. I took time out of my day, to offer you something personal. I gave you a part of my thoughts, to use for your benefit.

Did you remotely want to hear it? Did you consider anything other than how wrong I was? What an asshole I am? I seriously don't think so.

I ended with:
When you get out of school, whatnot, and you can make the marriage happen, you should.

Everything else is just stalling.

I meant it. Obviously, you have good reason to wait until school is over. I made that assumption, I showed trust in your word, with that original line. I said "when you get out of school" and I said "make it happen."

I believe in love, and I believe in marriage. I sincerely hope you experience both.

__________________
I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."