I understand people who decide that they don't want kids. My sister thinks she never wants kids. She's 27. Do I think she might regret never having kids? Yes. Is that her decision? It sure is, and all I can do is support her in whatever she chooses. I totally respect that, but would still love to be an Auntie.
Something inside of me changed when I had my baby. Life became about care... Care in a way I could have never come close to understanding until it happened to me.
But who's to say that having a child fulfill a need to nurture and love is dysfunctional? We are built to reproduce, it’s an instinct. Having a child is a cycle continuing itself. For some, “family” defines who they really are. They live to see their children grow up, to live, and have children of their own. Not in a controlling or needy way, but in a loving, accepting way. And what about grandchildren!? Now, what grandparent doesn’t live for their grandchildren? Is this desire of love, devotion, and loyalty really “too needy?” I think not. Love is a need - from the beginning of life, we need it to survive, and we always will.
Of course there’s a big difference between thriving/healthy love and dysfunctional neediness, and people choose their own realities, but to say that having your offspring complete a part of your life is dysfunctional in general is too much of a negative stereotype in my eyes.
Having a child is the ultimate lesson in love. Some pass, others fail miserably. I think giving life is important, and an opportunity to give of yourself and watch someone you adore grow. I can remember when my daughter’s feet were smaller than my hand and as soft as satin. Now they’re big and rough, but she still likes to be tickled. She’s this beautiful creature that I helped bring into this world, and she’s the only life left of her daddy. I see him in her everyday, and in a way, he still lives.
She’s a blessing.