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Originally Posted by Ambient1
Without spirituality, there was a huge gap in my life. It was almost like trying to deny a physical sensation of a hole in my chest; an emptyness.
While I was flirting with atheism, I ended up pretty depressed. There was no "reason" for living other than purely biological factors. The meaning of life came down to simple reproduction and propagation of the species.
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This is precisely my issue... a hole in my chest, a massive sense of reductionism, like saying that love is just a bunch of neurons firing off in a particular pattern in one's brain... it just goes against my grain. And I am the type to thoroughly examine one's grain for social inculcation, maladaptive tendencies, psychological delusion... and yet I still cannot shake off this empty sensation.
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Originally Posted by Ambient1
Learn all you can, read, examine, critique... then ask yourself if you identify with the message, if you believe it, and most importantly, if you can have faith in it.
Personally, I'd recommend learning more about the different ones out there. Take pieces that you like, and make them your own.
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Well this is basically what I have done... I did learn a great deal, I read tons, examined, critiqued to the point where I could not intellectually identify or believe anymore. I feel I did not lose faith, per se, but did lose my faith in the system as it exists. And I have learned about a couple of other systems/ideologies (Buddhism, Hinduism, Atheism, etc)... though I still have many to tackle, of course.
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Originally Posted by Ambient1
I feel that your own spirituality is as unique as you are - and is private and personal. If you miss the sense of community, I would recommend joining a volunteer group. Working together as a team, helping others, brings a much greater sense of community.
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Yes, above all I feel that my "spirituality" (despite being a new and sexy word/idea, I think it's been around and recycled for as long as humans have had the capacity for higher thought) is very private, and that I can't expect anyone to understand it. However, I recognize a spiritual person when I see one... I do share something with them, though I can't explain it. As for volunteering, I've thought of this, and my bf has also recommended it. TFP even helps with community. But I have yet to make time to try it again, after many years not contributing to the community.
I suppose a sense of secular humanism has replaced the old relationship I had with religion... and I do find some fulfillment in that approach. But it still leaves something to be desired... because secular humanism still doesn't involve a sense of wonder at the world as it is. I should combine environmentalism with humanism, maybe... sigh.
It's been 5 years since I started doubting it all (after 6 years of believing it all), and I still haven't come up with a meaningful-enough substitute. Is that a self-fulfilling prophecy? Then again I am not demanding a substitute... I want to find, to know, something real. And if that "realness" is in the gray area, in the comfort gained from sitting with paradox and not trying to resolve everything unknown... then I do feel I am still a spiritual seeker, and that I am not satisfied with easy answers, and that this very seeking does make my life better. And it still has very little, if anything, to do with religion.
So can seeking be a spirituality?
/looks around for Seeker...
