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Continued from the other thread)
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Originally Posted by abaya
Yay for Buddhism! I am really curious, though, about how you have run the gamut of non-belief and are now arriving at a sense of spirituality.
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Without spirituality, there was a huge gap in my life. It was almost like trying to deny a physical sensation of a hole in my chest; an emptyness.
While I was flirting with atheism, I ended up pretty depressed. There was no "reason" for living other than purely biological factors. The meaning of life came down to simple reproduction and propagation of the species.
And honestly, I can not, nor is there any way, for me to prove that there is not a god. There has to be more - I needed to find reason.
My initial problems were solely with religion. I saw how some people acted, how they would attend church and believe that that was enough. Hypocrites. I also understood the power that the church has held in the past, and all the damage they truly have dealt to mankind.
Sure, there have been some positive things that have come from religion, but in my eye, it is not worth the wars, persecution and suffering that they have propagated.
Spirituality is faith rendered pure; refined without the trappings of some clergy. It is what you truly believe deep down in you heart. It is a religion of one.
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Originally Posted by abaya
I... because I became a Christian during my most formative years (14-20), it seems I always want to go back to it, like a warm bed that I can't escape... and honestly sometimes I don't know what would be so bad about doing so. Would doing so make me a bad person? Maybe I should be a cop-out and just take what I need from different belief/non-belief systems and be happy with my pluralism... but then I feel like I betray my own integrity and give in to a "drug" leftover from my teen years.
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It comes down to what you truly believe. I'm not the person you should be asking as to whether Christianity is right for you; only you can answer that. Learn all you can, read, examine, critique... then ask yourself if you identify with the message, if you believe it, and most importantly, if you can have faith in it.
Personally, I'd recommend learning more about the different religions out there. Take pieces that you like, and make them your own.
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Originally Posted by abaya
Edit: also interesting, zen_tom, about the church thing... I hadn't thought of it that way, since I tend to be cynical about churches (after having attended them for a long time). But that sense of community... of people who agree to constantly be in wonder... I do miss it, very much, even if I don't miss the doctrine and such. I miss people standing in wonder together, no matter what banner they walk under (or none at all)... and I miss standing among them and sharing that appreciation, that... "worship," if I may use a loaded word? (by this I do not imply a god or even a being, but at least that there is something greater than ourselves to be shared in a communal wonder, and that if we do not pay attention to it we risk denying/neglecting a crucial part of our spirit).
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I feel that your own spirituality is as unique as you are - and is private and personal. If you miss the sense of community, I would recommend joining a volunteer group. Working together as a team, helping others, brings a much greater sense of community.