Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Should emotional love overide body issues? I have an issue.

StephenSa · 05-17-2005, 08:16 AM

Ok, my wife does not suffer from chronic clinical depression. She is depressed now because of body/self esteem issues and my clumsy attempt to improve our relationship. She, much like myself and many of us could probably benefit from a little therapy but mostly she is a happy fun person to be around or I would have never married her. When things go a bit south though she does take it quite hard and it really affects her. I don't "pretend" to not understand why she gets so upset. I accept that she does and I try to help but no, I really don't understand it. I don't stay mad or depressed for very long. Typically I get mad, throw a fit and an hour later I'm over it. At the least once I sleep and wake up I generally just let things go. I'm either too lazy or have too short of an attention span to be upset for very long. Maybe I've had so much bad shit happen in my life that most things just seem insignificant in comparison. I think I learned to let things go as a survival instinct as a kid in a very bad home. That's beside the point though. The issue is my wife and what I can do to make things better. For that I'm still going with my plan as stated in my last post. Last night I bought a really nice new bedroom bed set (comforter,pillow shams, sheets, all that jazz) and beautified the bedroom so she would have a comfortable pleasant environment. I do things like that all the time for her. She gets roses every week or two. I get her jewelry and pick up things for her I think she'd like. I cook her dinner pretty often, every Sunday and some week days too. I clean around the house. She is far from mistreated or ignored. The only area I really slipped up on was with the sexual intimacy and I'm trying to improve that. It will take time and patience on the part of both of us. It actually helps for me to post here. It lets me organize my thoughts, vent a little and get useful feedback. All the feedback is useful and helps me see the issue from other view points so once again thanks for the comments.

05-17-2005, 08:16 AM	#23 (permalink)
StephenSa Psycho Location: Dallas, Texas	Ok, my wife does not suffer from chronic clinical depression. She is depressed now because of body/self esteem issues and my clumsy attempt to improve our relationship. She, much like myself and many of us could probably benefit from a little therapy but mostly she is a happy fun person to be around or I would have never married her. When things go a bit south though she does take it quite hard and it really affects her. I don't "pretend" to not understand why she gets so upset. I accept that she does and I try to help but no, I really don't understand it. I don't stay mad or depressed for very long. Typically I get mad, throw a fit and an hour later I'm over it. At the least once I sleep and wake up I generally just let things go. I'm either too lazy or have too short of an attention span to be upset for very long. Maybe I've had so much bad shit happen in my life that most things just seem insignificant in comparison. I think I learned to let things go as a survival instinct as a kid in a very bad home. That's beside the point though. The issue is my wife and what I can do to make things better. For that I'm still going with my plan as stated in my last post. Last night I bought a really nice new bedroom bed set (comforter,pillow shams, sheets, all that jazz) and beautified the bedroom so she would have a comfortable pleasant environment. I do things like that all the time for her. She gets roses every week or two. I get her jewelry and pick up things for her I think she'd like. I cook her dinner pretty often, every Sunday and some week days too. I clean around the house. She is far from mistreated or ignored. The only area I really slipped up on was with the sexual intimacy and I'm trying to improve that. It will take time and patience on the part of both of us. It actually helps for me to post here. It lets me organize my thoughts, vent a little and get useful feedback. All the feedback is useful and helps me see the issue from other view points so once again thanks for the comments. __________________ Thousands of Monkeys, all screaming at once. Pulling God's finger.