Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Should emotional love overide body issues? I have an issue.

StephenSa · 05-16-2005, 07:53 AM

Been out of town for the weekend so sorry for late reply. Part of the problem with the wife has been her own attitude about her body and how that has bled over into her general mood. It's hard to get in the mood for someone that is consistantly mopey and down if not outright hostile. Still I know my lack of sexual interest caused a lot of that and my plan was and is to correct that portion of the problem. My lack of interest only exacerbated my wife's issues to the point that we were stagnating and something had to be done. Even with all the misery its caused I still feel I was justified in saying something in that things had to change. Last night (after another week of barely acknowledging my existance) she said she wasn't mad at me anymore but was just sad and needed to just get out of her mood. I'd already decided to quit apologizing and trying to talk and just let her work it out. When she decides she wants to talk I'll listen and see where it goes. If she chooses to forget about it and not bring it back up then I'll keep my mouth shut and go about my business. I've discovered through this and past experiences that anything remotely negative or in contradiction to what she wants to believe will throw her into a dark, long depression well beyond anything I can comprehend. I'd suggest she see someone about her self-esteem issues and anger/depression problems but that would only get me another month in the dog-house and probably make her climb deeper inside herself. When she gets better I might gently suggest we go together for some sort of counseling but frankly the thought of her reaction to that scares the bejeesus out of me. I can't control her happiness. I can only try to help when she will let me and live my life as best I can. As for me, my gym is re-opening this week (finally!) and I will be working out and back into fight'in shape within eight weeks. I hope she sees the enthusiasm I throw into this and makes an effort to be healthier and more importantly happier. Thanks again for the help. I'll let you know if things change.

05-16-2005, 07:53 AM	#20 (permalink)
StephenSa Psycho Location: Dallas, Texas	Been out of town for the weekend so sorry for late reply. Part of the problem with the wife has been her own attitude about her body and how that has bled over into her general mood. It's hard to get in the mood for someone that is consistantly mopey and down if not outright hostile. Still I know my lack of sexual interest caused a lot of that and my plan was and is to correct that portion of the problem. My lack of interest only exacerbated my wife's issues to the point that we were stagnating and something had to be done. Even with all the misery its caused I still feel I was justified in saying something in that things had to change. Last night (after another week of barely acknowledging my existance) she said she wasn't mad at me anymore but was just sad and needed to just get out of her mood. I'd already decided to quit apologizing and trying to talk and just let her work it out. When she decides she wants to talk I'll listen and see where it goes. If she chooses to forget about it and not bring it back up then I'll keep my mouth shut and go about my business. I've discovered through this and past experiences that anything remotely negative or in contradiction to what she wants to believe will throw her into a dark, long depression well beyond anything I can comprehend. I'd suggest she see someone about her self-esteem issues and anger/depression problems but that would only get me another month in the dog-house and probably make her climb deeper inside herself. When she gets better I might gently suggest we go together for some sort of counseling but frankly the thought of her reaction to that scares the bejeesus out of me. I can't control her happiness. I can only try to help when she will let me and live my life as best I can. As for me, my gym is re-opening this week (finally!) and I will be working out and back into fight'in shape within eight weeks. I hope she sees the enthusiasm I throw into this and makes an effort to be healthier and more importantly happier. Thanks again for the help. I'll let you know if things change. __________________ Thousands of Monkeys, all screaming at once. Pulling God's finger. Last edited by StephenSa; 05-16-2005 at 07:57 AM..