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Maleficient had some good suggestions.
My sister-in-law had her own shower. She has more things that she ever uses. She has toys and baby supplies stacked in laundry baskets on top of laundry baskets in her livingroom and never uses half of them. In her case it was simply a desire for most stuff and was resented by the rest of the family (including her husband) as well as many friends.
I think it all depends on your attitude about it. Encourage your guests not to bring gifts but to bring casserole dishes and things you can stock your freezer with. Things to help you both after mom gets home from the hospital and is recovering. OR suggest that they donate to some cause that you both support. Or that they come for a "potluck" type of party. Dont' call it a shower and it won't seem so presumptuous.
Traditionally parents didn't receive showers for more than one child. Older folk and traditionalists would find it almost selfish to ask for a second one. But if you design your invitations to say something such as "We would like you to join in our celebration of the coming of our new baby and invite you to a potluck/party/grillout/etc. at our home. (no gifts necessary but we would like to stock up on casseroles and such for after the birth.)" Making the party seem like just that, a gathering of friends to celebrate, will soften it for the traditional folk.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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