Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How do you ask a girl out without her knowing?

Gilda · 05-15-2005, 06:32 PM

I'll take it seriously.

Let's assume you're at a dance. This is exactly the advice I give to the boy's in my classes about how to ask a girl to dance. I can't take credit for it; I stole it from John Gray.

There's a group of five girls standing together, any of whom is nice enough to dance with, although one is a lot nicer than the others. What do you do to maximize your chance of getting a dance? First, don't pick them out and ask in order of attractiveness. After girl A turns you down, girl B knows you're her second choice. By the time you get to E, she's going to be really insulted. Even if girl A does say yes, the others will still know they were your second choice.

Here's your best strategy. Approach the group as a whole, and say, "Would any of you lovely ladies like to dance?" Chances are that one of them is going to be willing. When you're done, drop her off, and ask the group again. Now you have a second chance, but you haven't insulted any of them; you may get to dance with all of them. No joke, I've seen computer nerds dance with half a dozen girls at a dance using this strategy, and have an absolute blast.

Now lets apply this to an adult situation.

Make friends with the whole group. Hang out with them, have lunch with them, make small talk. Don't target any one, wait until one of the girls shows interest, or until you know enough about her to know that she's compatable with you, and then ask her out.

Or even just apply the dance strategy directly. Approach the group, and ask them out as a group. If there are any takers, you've got a date, and what's more, it's with a girl you now know is interested in you, which is a piece of information you don't currently posess.

05-15-2005, 06:32 PM	#14 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I'll take it seriously. Let's assume you're at a dance. This is exactly the advice I give to the boy's in my classes about how to ask a girl to dance. I can't take credit for it; I stole it from John Gray. There's a group of five girls standing together, any of whom is nice enough to dance with, although one is a lot nicer than the others. What do you do to maximize your chance of getting a dance? First, don't pick them out and ask in order of attractiveness. After girl A turns you down, girl B knows you're her second choice. By the time you get to E, she's going to be really insulted. Even if girl A does say yes, the others will still know they were your second choice. Here's your best strategy. Approach the group as a whole, and say, "Would any of you lovely ladies like to dance?" Chances are that one of them is going to be willing. When you're done, drop her off, and ask the group again. Now you have a second chance, but you haven't insulted any of them; you may get to dance with all of them. No joke, I've seen computer nerds dance with half a dozen girls at a dance using this strategy, and have an absolute blast. Now lets apply this to an adult situation. Make friends with the whole group. Hang out with them, have lunch with them, make small talk. Don't target any one, wait until one of the girls shows interest, or until you know enough about her to know that she's compatable with you, and then ask her out. Or even just apply the dance strategy directly. Approach the group, and ask them out as a group. If there are any takers, you've got a date, and what's more, it's with a girl you now know is interested in you, which is a piece of information you don't currently posess. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert