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I hate to break it to you, but if you're going to ask a lady out, odds are exceedingly high that the lady will find out. I would even go so far as to make the bold claim that the lady must find out. The verification of my hypothesis might require some experiment on your part, but i am confident you will see the results i predict, in two weeks or less, money back guaranteed.
I would also imagine that if you did somehow ask a lady out without her knowing, a.k.a. going the "friend" route, you'll no doubt be finding your way eventually to the "nice guys never get the girl" thread to complain about how women only express romantic interest in people who are *ahem* courageous/considerate enough to be forthright with their intentions.
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