ranger

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up
behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name
Laura Lou written on it," she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one
of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a
good
explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up
and
hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which
knocked him out cold.

When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"

She replied, "Your horse called."

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there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is the wrong way faster.