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raeanna74 · 05-11-2005, 06:23 AM

I've done this. Most of the time I WANT the guy to do something for me but I hate to sound like a nag and ask for it at all. If I start asking for everything I need then I become demanding. We're hoping you'll catch on without us being "demanding". If we get demanding then we're labled as "high maintance". In a sense, guys have forced us into "hinting" at stuff so that we don't sound like a nag, demanding, or high maintance. There's lots that we'd love for you to do. At least personally I have done lots for my guy and often the guy doesn't even notice. We think it's gonna be noticed and then when it isn't we are disappointed but we don't want to sound like we're bragging by pointing every little thing out cause there's so many little things that we do.

At least that's my point of view. So as for outright saying yes or no when I mean the opposite. Sometimes I will say the opposite when I feel like saying the truth would sound controlling. For example - you want to go out with the guys but I was envisioning an evening watching a movie and getting some nookie. If you ask if I mind that you go out I would say no - BECAUSE if I said Yes then I'd be controlling and you'd stay home grudgingly and no nookie would happen and we wouldn't have a good time anyway. I would want you to WANT to stay home.

Now here's where communicating comes in and that only seems to have come with maturity and experience. Now if Hubby wants to go out and I have envisioned something totally different I might say - well I was hoping to do thus and thus - I want you to have fun tonight so if you still want to go out can you make a day where you can stay home and do this with me?? He's usually quite happy to, he sees WHY I'd not want him to go out and he also sees that I want him to have his freedom and fun too.

I think it's a lot about maturity and communicating ALL that you're thinking.

Then there's the problem about guys listening - hubby has learned the art quite well but was once poor at it too - if you aren't willing to listen then be prepared for opposite answers cause we're not gonna waste our time talking to a brick wall.

05-11-2005, 06:23 AM	#17 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I've done this. Most of the time I WANT the guy to do something for me but I hate to sound like a nag and ask for it at all. If I start asking for everything I need then I become demanding. We're hoping you'll catch on without us being "demanding". If we get demanding then we're labled as "high maintance". In a sense, guys have forced us into "hinting" at stuff so that we don't sound like a nag, demanding, or high maintance. There's lots that we'd love for you to do. At least personally I have done lots for my guy and often the guy doesn't even notice. We think it's gonna be noticed and then when it isn't we are disappointed but we don't want to sound like we're bragging by pointing every little thing out cause there's so many little things that we do. At least that's my point of view. So as for outright saying yes or no when I mean the opposite. Sometimes I will say the opposite when I feel like saying the truth would sound controlling. For example - you want to go out with the guys but I was envisioning an evening watching a movie and getting some nookie. If you ask if I mind that you go out I would say no - BECAUSE if I said Yes then I'd be controlling and you'd stay home grudgingly and no nookie would happen and we wouldn't have a good time anyway. I would want you to WANT to stay home. Now here's where communicating comes in and that only seems to have come with maturity and experience. Now if Hubby wants to go out and I have envisioned something totally different I might say - well I was hoping to do thus and thus - I want you to have fun tonight so if you still want to go out can you make a day where you can stay home and do this with me?? He's usually quite happy to, he sees WHY I'd not want him to go out and he also sees that I want him to have his freedom and fun too. I think it's a lot about maturity and communicating ALL that you're thinking. Then there's the problem about guys listening - hubby has learned the art quite well but was once poor at it too - if you aren't willing to listen then be prepared for opposite answers cause we're not gonna waste our time talking to a brick wall. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.