Ok, whew...Get ready for a rant...Not against you, the poster, though, so don't take this personally in any way.
It's society. And I hate to say it, cause it's so fucking cliche, but it's true. Turn on the tv, what do you see? Women who don't really mean "no" when they say it, who are just being coquettish and cute. And those are the girls who get the guys on tv, the ones who tease and draw the men out. The women who actually respect themselves, and say "no" and mean it don't get SHIT.
So, what is the message our little girls are getting? Be cute and sexy, say "no" but mean "yes," and give in to the man when he wants it. Basically, manipulate and fuck your way to the top, cause you can't handle men any other way. And you know what? It sure as hell worked in High School. who were the 'cool kids?" The slutty chicks who where sly and bitchy and coy with their friends and boyfriends. Maybe that's not how it was in your high school, but that's how it was at mine.
And who are the "cool" kids in college? Ohhhh, yes, the frat boys and the sorority girls (at least, that's what they seem to think, and what tv and movies seem to think as well...). And, although the stereotypes may not be dead on, if that's what people think you're like, then that's the kind of people who are going to want to join. So it's a self-fulfilling stereotype.
I get sick when I hear about this shit, and yet I even did it myself! It's so ingrained, that it's like we can't help it. I decided that my boyfriend wasn't being attentive enough, so I decided to try to make him jealous. Not cool...not cool at all. He just ended up getting mad at me. So now if I have some problem with him, I either talk it over, or let it go.
I don't know how to change it, except not to reward the behavior. If a chick says "no," then treat it like a no. Don't fall into her little manipulation trap. If she decides to be all coy and shit, drop her like a hot brick.
If I see a girl being a total bitch to her guy, trying to get him to do something for her without her asking, or trying to "test" him, I tell her she's being a bitch and that he should dump her. Then I'll usually tell him what's going on.
Man, if we could all just respect each other as intellegent, rational people (in this case, women respecting men), instead of animals we have to trick into doing what we want, we'd understand one another a lot better.
That was rambly...sorry...but I think it got most of my point(s) across.