There's nothing wrong with having a life separate from your SO. Grace knows that I flirt and exchange sexually explicit messages online, and use them to masturbate when she isn't around. She doesn't mind because it very often puts me in the mood and she ends up benefitting from it. Sometimes I'll print them out, show them to her, and it puts her in the mood and we both benefit from it.
Another interesting observation; we definitely fit the introvert/extrovert type of relationship. I'm the introvert (in real life) who finds an outlet online sometimes, while she--in this case it's the Asian girl who's the outgoing one--has a large circle of real life friends. I don't go out to clubs, or for that matter, pretty much anywhere unless I'm with her.
I'd say it's cheating only if you feel you have to hide it AND it takes away from your primary relationship.
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