abaya

My bf and I were talking about a friend who's having a civil marriage soon. (They're doing it that way b/c of visa issues, and not having time to do a traditional wedding until they get back to her home country.)

My bf, a self-professed agnostic-atheist, says that he would only want a civil marriage because it would be hypocritical for him to get married with a religious figure officiating. He said he would only do it in a courthouse.

Now, I have not been religious for the last five years, though I did go through a religious phase in my life, and my parents are still that way. However, I still consider myself to be a spiritual seeker, and I do not try to exclude all spiritual practices from my life.

While wedding vows do not have to be "before God," I do see a wedding as being much more than a legal thing. To me it is a spiritual union, with two people/souls/spirits joining into one while maintaining their distinctiveness. It is also something that involves the approval of a third party, which to me doesn't have to be legal, but should involve and respect the families of both individuals (assuming the family members are not complete psychos).

I do not necessarily advocate having a religious figure officiating, either, but I am looking for a compromise here. I know there have been weddings that took place outside a courthouse, outside a church, with a neutral "justice of the peace" or something. Or would a unitarian pastor be non-sectarian enough to do the job (are they even considered a "religion?")

For the sake of conversation (my bf and I still have lots to discuss on the issue), what are your experiences with this?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran