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Old 05-03-2005, 03:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
Martian
Young Crumudgeon
 
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Location: Canada
Long distance relationships - coping

I did a search and couldn't find any threads that were really relevant, so I guess this should be alright, although I'm a bit surprised it hasn't been addressed before.

Me and my girl are in a distance relationship at the moment - she's going to Wayne State in Detroit and I'm doing the working stiff deal near Toronto. We're about 250 miles apart and I have a tough time dealing with it. We talk on the phone on a daily basis (I pay extra for a long distance plan to make this possible, while she buys phone cards for the same reason) but that's clearly not the same as being together. I'm proud of her and want her to do well, but it's hard being so far apart. It doesn't help that we both agree that when we're together the sex is the best we've ever had (when she's here I tend to get dirty looks from some of my neighbours and smiles and winks from others, but that's yet another discussion).

We don't do phone sex, having both agreed that the concept just seems a bit too weird to work for us. She actually says she doesn't think she could manage without laughing and I agree. But at the same time the distance is murder. Neither of us sleeps as well without the other, we miss being together and hanging out, everything that being close brings us. The worst is when we actually are together, because it seems like every time I have to leave her or vice versa it gets a little harder.

This is my first time being in a long distance relationship. I refused to try it before solely because I knew it would be difficult and didn't see the point in putting myself through it. It's hard and it hurts, yeah, but she's worth it and it's a great feeling knowing that I've found a girl who is worth that sort of thing. The problem is, I'm not very good at dealing with it.

So there's the crux of it. I know I'm not the only one here doing the distance thing and I was wondering how other people cope. I was sort of hoping it would get easier over time, but the opposite really seems to be true. What are other peoples' experience on the issue? How do you deal with being alone?
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