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Old 05-01-2005, 04:44 PM   #81 (permalink)
Hardknock
Republican slayer
 
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Location: WA
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityOfAngels
Today was my first time anyone has ever actually begged me for sex. My ex-girlfriend gave me a call, and we talked about nonsense for awhile. Then she told me how something has been 'bothering' her. Apparently her new boyfriend doesn't "hit it" where she needs it to be "hit" in order for her to enjoy sex at all. On top of that, he only has sex with her once a week and only lasts 20 minutes. She asked me, "So...I was wondering if I could come over tonight later on..." I was like, "I dunno..." with a sarcastic tone. After asking me again a few more times, she then said in a very excited voice, "Aw c'mon! I really need some dick! I need to be fucked right now! You're the only one that can hit it right!" This is what I said to her:
"You cheated on me with him. You chose to be with him rather than with me, and NOW you're regretting it? It's not my fault that he can't handle your business. I knew you'd miss my dick someday. And oh yeah: NO!" I hung up in disgust.

Although I was thoroughly disgusted, and probably will regret not taking her up on her offer whenever I'm feeling stupid and horny, I must say that I was quite flattered. I didn't know that my libido was adequate enough to make someone actually fiend over it! Don't get me wrong; I'm not bragging...it's just this is the first time this has ever happened to me. It came as a disgusting yet pleasant surpise.

To her credit, she did call back and apologize.
Good for you! You tell her where to stick it man!! The cheating cunt made her bed now let her sleep in it.
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