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Mrs. B. I think that you are right, there need to be consequences for her actions. It is your job to help her learn. I'm wondering how long the "grounding" is for and how long she has to go to school with you? At what point will you trust her again? She needs to know how she can prove herself to you.
In the future, it may be helpful to keep the consequence tied to the "crime." For example, she wrote on the wall so her consequence is having to pay for paint and paint the wall OR to scrub the wall down. If it was public property, then she should have to pay any fines that came about as a result. No more is probably needed then that UNLESS the action is reaccuring, then stiffer consequences should be inforced.
Recently (I may have mentioned this in another thread) our daughter came home from an overnight, remembered that I was out of town and that dad was working. Rather then calling and checking in as she should have, she went to a movie with her friend. We were panicked when we couldn't get ahold of her. (She is 11.) Finally Lebell came home from work to look for her -- loosing much needed income. It just so happened the next day she had her first money making dog sitting job. Guess where that income went? You got it, to repay what dad lost in income. (Okay, her $10 didn't make up for his $30 something -- but the point was made.)
I truly thought she learned her lesson; but the very next day she was late coming back from the neigbor's house. Then we put her on restriction for a week. I think she now has the idea that she must check in with us as agreed upon.
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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