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You would be within your rights at times when, should she aggravate or provoke your child, to at least tell her you won't accept that. If you catch her doing something wrong, tell her no. This especially would apply if it's in your home. Rules are rules and children need them. No child, whether it was a relative's or friend's has ever been allowed to misbehave or carry on in my house and no one ever reprimanded me for sticking to my values in that regard.
If she speaks rudely again to your son, tell her, " don't say that, please. it is not how we talk here." Your son will try to do it as well, compounding the problem, if you don't speak up.
Shame, really, on those parents. Depending on your relationship with them, it may even behoove you to tell them you're not fond of her behavior around your child.
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