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Thanks for the advice sweetpea, though I don't live in the states. I can see that it could become an abusive relationship, but it's more of an emotionally abusive one than a physical one. You know how hard it is for someone to see that for what it is. You can tell yourself, "but he doesn't hit me, so it's ok". But yeah I have been toying with the idea of calling her up soon and arranging something to do together... if I make any progress I'll let you guys know.
And thanks everyone for your support, I really needed to get this off my chest, and hear that I'm not paranoid.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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