NeverBorn

I've been reading and watching alot of Hong Kong flicks lately and I had this crazy idea for a revenge story, sort of like the Crow only probably not as much about the love bullshit. Here is the first paragraph or so. Its still in progress,


It was raining on the day I died, the cold hard rain pooled into steaming puddles on the hard concrete. I remember the smell vividly, that acrid odor like the bite of acid on the tongue, it was a fragrance that would haunt me the rest of my existence. A paused a moment in my thoughts as rolled a single black tipped bullet through my calloused fingers. The chrome cased angel of death gleamed of the dingy yellow lights of the city night. Another oder seemed to creak back into the theater playing out in my mind, that stingy smell of burnt powder. The docs on the scene could hardly believe that there was anything left after the torrent of fire that was laid down. Spent casings were strewn about the scene like ants gathered at a family picnic, their gleaming surfaces lying quietly in victory. The blood had emptied from the various holes in the corpse and had begun to mingle with the rain water, like lost siblings reaching for each other. A sound of movement to my right snapped me back into the present, the sins of the past would have to be addressed but those were for another moment, this moment was already dedicated. My fingers worked the lone bullet back to its bretheren like a surgen delicately cutting his patient. With a satisfying click the round slid back into the chamber ontop, as if screaming “me first”. The barretta sat cold and silent in my grasp, like the brush of a master artist it was mearly awaiting its canvas. The clip entered gently into the handle of the great tool and hence the brush was ready to paint. I took a glance upward into the dying light of the moon as it fought valiently against the opprosive clouds and the harsh buzzing light of the city threatning to drown it out.