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Rodney · 04-10-2005, 06:15 AM

I trust my wife. We knew each other as friends for 10 years before we got together. We even bought a house _before_ we got married (it was in my name only then) because we both trusted each other. She's always been there for me, and I've always been there for her. We don't always do the right thing by each other, but we trust that we're both _trying_ to do the right thing. We just know we make mistakes.

I'm trusted by a lot of people, largely because I'm quite happy to help people in various volunteer endeavors in church and community organizations and I don't ask anything in return -- no privileges, no recompense, no ego stroking, and I always do what I say I'm going to. So when I do ask for something -- volunteers of my own for some project -- it's very easy for me to get people to come on board.

I trust many other people to a limited degree, but maybe only one guy absolutely, and he's somebody I've known for 30 years. I not only trust his character, but I trust his judgment. The key to trust is knowing somebody's character and how they will react in various situations. That's why trust, real trust, is built slowly, through experience, except in some very special circumstances.

I had another friend even older who died a few years ago; I consider this guy to have been my brother. But I didn't trust him quite as much because, while I trusted his character and his regard for me and his honesty, I didn't trust his judgment quite as much. When he came around with a plan or proposition, it was always a good idea to look _really closely_ for holes instead of just going along. So I trusted the person, but not his competency.

I have gotten into trouble for trusting the wrong person even at my ripe age (approaching the half-century mark). There are a lot of emotionally needy people out there who are ready to take advantage of people who do them a good turn -- hell, I've even had somebody I helped try to break up my marriage -- because they want somebody to cling to in life. Are they bad people? No. But I've come to understand why a lot of people who help others frequently learn to be business-like, less willing to connect emotionally with the people they're helping and very quick to draw limits on what they will and won't do.

04-10-2005, 06:15 AM	#27 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	I trust my wife. We knew each other as friends for 10 years before we got together. We even bought a house _before_ we got married (it was in my name only then) because we both trusted each other. She's always been there for me, and I've always been there for her. We don't always do the right thing by each other, but we trust that we're both _trying_ to do the right thing. We just know we make mistakes. I'm trusted by a lot of people, largely because I'm quite happy to help people in various volunteer endeavors in church and community organizations and I don't ask anything in return -- no privileges, no recompense, no ego stroking, and I always do what I say I'm going to. So when I do ask for something -- volunteers of my own for some project -- it's very easy for me to get people to come on board. I trust many other people to a limited degree, but maybe only one guy absolutely, and he's somebody I've known for 30 years. I not only trust his character, but I trust his judgment. The key to trust is knowing somebody's character and how they will react in various situations. That's why trust, real trust, is built slowly, through experience, except in some very special circumstances. I had another friend even older who died a few years ago; I consider this guy to have been my brother. But I didn't trust him quite as much because, while I trusted his character and his regard for me and his honesty, I didn't trust his judgment quite as much. When he came around with a plan or proposition, it was always a good idea to look _really closely_ for holes instead of just going along. So I trusted the person, but not his competency. I have gotten into trouble for trusting the wrong person even at my ripe age (approaching the half-century mark). There are a lot of emotionally needy people out there who are ready to take advantage of people who do them a good turn -- hell, I've even had somebody I helped try to break up my marriage -- because they want somebody to cling to in life. Are they bad people? No. But I've come to understand why a lot of people who help others frequently learn to be business-like, less willing to connect emotionally with the people they're helping and very quick to draw limits on what they will and won't do.