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vanblah · 04-06-2005, 08:07 AM

I've tried to refrain from posting in this thread because I have some very strong opinions when it comes to the 20th century Western practice of child-rearing. I have a three-year-old daughter and so far I think we've done a damn good job of raising her. She's energetic without being obnoxious; she's articulate (bilingual as well; Spanish/English); enjoys singing and making music; physically healthy. She potty-trained herself in one day (it is, after all, THE CHILDS goal not the parents).

Sure she throws fits every once in a while as she tries to establish her independence. We simply allow her to get past the emotions and then try to talk about it. Sometimes she goes to time out if she gets really bad.

She still sleeps in our bed ... although lately she has really expressed an interest in her own "big girl room". I am feverishly remodeling a room for her at this time. I hope to be finished in the next couple of weeks. Every day she sees a new change and it makes it more exciting for her.

I attribute her successes to our refusal to follow the "clinical" methods of child rearing.

The family bed is nothing new. In fact, cribs haven't really been around much more than a century or so. Entire families slept in the same bed ... and the parents still had more children. Separate beds for children were really something only the wealthy elite could afford and we all know how well-adjusted THEY seem to be.

The fact is, none of us know why the mom still sleeps in the same bed as her son. There are any number of reasons that this kid and his mother need to sleep in the same bed. Emotional distress being the biggest culprit. For some reason the child's father is not there ... was there a divorce? Did the father die? How is the kid handling that?

My advice? Talk to the mother about it and then talk to the kid. Children can be amazingly astute. I agree that a 10 year old kid, especially a boy, should actually WANT to sleep by himself. And that's the tactic you should take. Convince him that he wants to sleep alone. And for god's sake, DON'T TEASE HIM ABOUT IT. You'll only make it worse.

It's way too easy to jump to conclusions ... and everyone with kids thinks their method of child-rearing is the best. I'm just as guilty as anyone else.

Thank you for indulging my little rant.

I leave you with this link:

http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading...amily_bed.html

(edited for a little clarity).

04-06-2005, 08:07 AM	#15 (permalink)
vanblah Junkie	I've tried to refrain from posting in this thread because I have some very strong opinions when it comes to the 20th century Western practice of child-rearing. I have a three-year-old daughter and so far I think we've done a damn good job of raising her. She's energetic without being obnoxious; she's articulate (bilingual as well; Spanish/English); enjoys singing and making music; physically healthy. She potty-trained herself in one day (it is, after all, THE CHILDS goal not the parents). Sure she throws fits every once in a while as she tries to establish her independence. We simply allow her to get past the emotions and then try to talk about it. Sometimes she goes to time out if she gets really bad. She still sleeps in our bed ... although lately she has really expressed an interest in her own "big girl room". I am feverishly remodeling a room for her at this time. I hope to be finished in the next couple of weeks. Every day she sees a new change and it makes it more exciting for her. I attribute her successes to our refusal to follow the "clinical" methods of child rearing. The family bed is nothing new. In fact, cribs haven't really been around much more than a century or so. Entire families slept in the same bed ... and the parents still had more children. Separate beds for children were really something only the wealthy elite could afford and we all know how well-adjusted THEY seem to be. The fact is, none of us know why the mom still sleeps in the same bed as her son. There are any number of reasons that this kid and his mother need to sleep in the same bed. Emotional distress being the biggest culprit. For some reason the child's father is not there ... was there a divorce? Did the father die? How is the kid handling that? My advice? Talk to the mother about it and then talk to the kid. Children can be amazingly astute. I agree that a 10 year old kid, especially a boy, should actually WANT to sleep by himself. And that's the tactic you should take. Convince him that he wants to sleep alone. And for god's sake, DON'T TEASE HIM ABOUT IT. You'll only make it worse. It's way too easy to jump to conclusions ... and everyone with kids thinks their method of child-rearing is the best. I'm just as guilty as anyone else. Thank you for indulging my little rant. I leave you with this link: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading...amily_bed.html (edited for a little clarity). Last edited by vanblah; 04-06-2005 at 08:10 AM..