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I don't think that it is the words themselves. I think we are offended by the fact that when a person says such things, they are meaning to hurt us. We want to be accepted and liked by others, whether we admit it or not we are social animals. When someone intentionally is trying to hurt us or put us outside the acceptable group, then we are hurt by their hatred or indifference towards us. The words are just the embodiment of their attitude toward us.
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