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Originally Posted by ratbastid
2) Spit works fine in a pinch. The reason she cringes is that she feels like she "should" be wetter and that there's something wrong with her. You needing to add lube makes her feel wrong somehow. Also, please don't actually spit on her. You want to use your hand to transfer spit wherever it's headed.
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Well said. Another tip would be, if she will let you give her oral sex, do that. But if she's not getting wet, then you're probably not paying attention to what she really likes in bed. Going down on her is a good place to start if she likes that--tell her to feel free to grab your head and push you where she wants you to go.
I'm going to have to agree with everyone here who has said that this is a communication issue. You two need to sit down and talk about what you want out of your sexual life. Secondly, you shouldn't jump to conclusions at all. Female sexuality is a VERY complicated issue, as is the female body. Sure, her birth control could have some role in her not getting wet, but I would bet that that is not it.
On another note, her county health department should have more than one kind of birth control to offer her, and she should really go back for an examination AFTER you two engage in an adult discussion about your sexual problems to eliminate any physical issues that may be causing the lack of lubrication.
But discussion is what needs to happen first and foremost, otherwise you'll never get anywhere at all.