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Originally Posted by MoJoPokeyBlue
So...having said all that, I'm assuming that someone whom you trust and admire has recently told you that you are a "negative person". This has bothered you enough to begin analyzing your actions over the past year and picking out certain patterns that seem to fit their diagnosis. Simply put, you're being too hard on yourself. I don't know you personally, but you sound like an incredible person that has accomplished quite a bit in your life thus far...and on top of all that, you have a very promising future!
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MoJo, for someone who's never met me before, you were quite on the nose. Thank you for your perceptive reading... it's been a while since anyone responded in that much detail and was so positive about what has otherwise been bringing me down. You're right, I have been fitting myself more and more into a "diagnosis," when really this isn't necessary at all. I need to quit saying that "I'm sorry," for this and that all the time, for one thing... that's something I never used to do.
I'm coming around (see my previous post) to the fact that I am really just being myself, and that there's no point in trying to change where I'm at unless I somehow go seriously self-destructive, which I'm not. This is how I am, and I don't know if I even need to change, since I seem to function fine given my place in life right now. I don't think it's the BC, after all, and I think I know exactly how to deal with myself when I'm feeling these ups and downs... just need to be more patient with myself and not expect total balance all the time.
Maybe this is all bullshit, who knows, but it's how I'm feeling right now and that's valid enough.
So thank you again for your words, they mean a lot coming from a stranger.