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c172g · 03-31-2005, 01:31 PM

My wife & I both had previous sex partners. My wife had primarily boyfriends that she had sex with (as oppposed to a string of one night stands), pretty much the same for me (girlfriends before anyone gets the wrong idea). Neither one of us had one night stands, although two of my previous partners were kind of one night stands that turned into a little more than that.

We live in a small town, and I know three of her old boyfriends and see two of them regularly. She was good friends with my ex (who loved to discuss sex in great detail with all of her girlfriends) and we had some really unleashed sex, I'm sure my wife has heard explicit detail of a lot of it. We knew each other for years before we started dating as well, as she went out with a friend of mine for 5 years.

As for your question regarding your thoughts on her previous sexual escapades, I don't think you'd be considered normal if that didn't bother you a little bit. Sex is for the most part a private thing & others have been there before you. I guess I look at it like this...what my wife did with other guys is what put her in front of me at the time we started dating.

I think about it as well, I'm sure my wife does too. Grin & bear it if it's someone you want to continue on with. What she did before you came along had nothing to do with you & it makes her who she is.

My wife & I discuss past relationships occasionally, and yep, it gets my blood flowing thinking of what they did together, but I wasn't in the picture then, so I forget about it. If she was cheating on you it would be a whole different story. You get to worry about what happened from the time you started dating & that's it. Anything prior is really had nothing to do with you.

As for your other problem, I've never had sex and not had an orgasm, except maybe a few times when we have sex, and go at it again ten minutes later.

Since you are new at sex (not that I'm any therapist) the biggest thing you can have is confidence. Don't fret the small stuff, be vocal about what you like & ask what she likes. Enjoy yourself. Experiment!

03-31-2005, 01:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
c172g Crazy Location: Michigan	My wife & I both had previous sex partners. My wife had primarily boyfriends that she had sex with (as oppposed to a string of one night stands), pretty much the same for me (girlfriends before anyone gets the wrong idea). Neither one of us had one night stands, although two of my previous partners were kind of one night stands that turned into a little more than that. We live in a small town, and I know three of her old boyfriends and see two of them regularly. She was good friends with my ex (who loved to discuss sex in great detail with all of her girlfriends) and we had some really unleashed sex, I'm sure my wife has heard explicit detail of a lot of it. We knew each other for years before we started dating as well, as she went out with a friend of mine for 5 years. As for your question regarding your thoughts on her previous sexual escapades, I don't think you'd be considered normal if that didn't bother you a little bit. Sex is for the most part a private thing & others have been there before you. I guess I look at it like this...what my wife did with other guys is what put her in front of me at the time we started dating. I think about it as well, I'm sure my wife does too. Grin & bear it if it's someone you want to continue on with. What she did before you came along had nothing to do with you & it makes her who she is. My wife & I discuss past relationships occasionally, and yep, it gets my blood flowing thinking of what they did together, but I wasn't in the picture then, so I forget about it. If she was cheating on you it would be a whole different story. You get to worry about what happened from the time you started dating & that's it. Anything prior is really had nothing to do with you. As for your other problem, I've never had sex and not had an orgasm, except maybe a few times when we have sex, and go at it again ten minutes later. Since you are new at sex (not that I'm any therapist) the biggest thing you can have is confidence. Don't fret the small stuff, be vocal about what you like & ask what she likes. Enjoy yourself. Experiment!