i don't mean this to be a linkfest (although i do think it's neat that TFP is such a deep community that links to old discussions can provide insight into new discussions), but i think you could probably find some answers to some of these questions in this thread:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=80862
i have yet to figure out some of these answers myself. in general, i'm not offended by bad words. but every now and then i will hear someone say something that will make me wince, and it's usually because of the context. for example, if i'm hanging out with my cousin, and he says "jesus fucking christ..." about something, i don't really care, or notice it. yet for me, that's kind of an "off limits" curse phrase because of my particular religious beliefs, and when i've heard other people say that phrase, it usually bothers me.
this is quite an interesting topic, and i think i need to mull over it a little more.