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Frenchie · 03-30-2005, 08:45 AM

First thing that I probably didn't get across was that one big downfall was that one time over this past summer when you were living in the dorms. And you knocked me down, remember that? You shoved me, and twisted my wrist to leave a mark... remember and after that you felt we started making up all you could be happy with is if I gave you head? Do you remember that? That's all you wanted, and usually ever wanted... but not until that night was I entierly disapointed with that fact.

On to what your brother had to say... I will bring it up here because if you posted something about it that probably means that you believe it (and yes I read it)
I left everything familiar to me to start a new life... thinking I could hold on to you, but realizing I can't or couldn't. So I dropped the one thing that was holding me back from finding out where I really wanted my life to be. I wanted my life to be mine, and I knew that I couldn't share it with someone who wasn't connected to me in all the important ways. We had different views on a lot of things that I compromised with to be with you... but what I compromised would never be able to stick, I needed to be alone or someone on the same level that knew what love was... that had been through things that I have been through, and many other things. We had a good relationship... we got along on many occasions, but you made me feel stupid. Yea, that's right, you underminded everything I would say because my grammar wasn't as perfect as yours, but I would state something and you would be like, you're so stupid for saying that, so I would have to drop my guard and forgive it for your sake... I dropped my guard so much for you, and I shouldn't have. I was not happy in NJ, with my friends or my relationships, and that was obvious... but what was not obvious to me what that I was making myself unhappy to keep you happy. I stopped hanging out with people and other stuff of that nature just so we could compromise on things... I did most of the compromising, and that wasn't changing... I did everything I did for you, and not so much for me (Wrong idea)

I'm really sorry that my cousin thinks you're the best thing in the world, if he still does then he should marry you. Because he hears your side... "Oh Lorel broke up with me, and she's a crazy f*in biotch, no reason at all just to get drunk and hook up with guys."
And let me tell you, if you told people that than that's just bull. Because I can tell you honestly that I probably drank 6 times since I have been out here, wow only six, or omg that's way too many. It's fun to go out with people that I like, can have friendships with and trust, not fear that they think I'm stupid, or get jealous that I'm grinding with someone that's not my boyfriend. I know for a fact that you probably wouldn't have been able to deal with that, and I really don't care. It's my life, I am living it for myself, and not to make you happy, which it ending up being... calling my mom on the phone and describing our first kiss, WTF never do that to another girl ever again.

So to finish up... I did not go and get with all the guys I could. I had a good time being single, and an ever better time finding myself, and my love that I honestly feel for one man. So whether or not you wanted to hear it, it's in what I write and feel. I just only hope that you can get over this break, since it's alread nearly 6 months later (maybe you're alread over it, great)
But seriously ignorance at least used to be with you... that's why you didn't and still don't really know why I broke it off... so with your next girlfriend you should understand that you need to understand her and give in a little bit, OMG she used the wrong word in the wrong context... I mean incorrect word. All I have to say is good luck, because at least you used to need it.

03-30-2005, 08:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
Frenchie Crazy Location: Muncie, IN	First thing that I probably didn't get across was that one big downfall was that one time over this past summer when you were living in the dorms. And you knocked me down, remember that? You shoved me, and twisted my wrist to leave a mark... remember and after that you felt we started making up all you could be happy with is if I gave you head? Do you remember that? That's all you wanted, and usually ever wanted... but not until that night was I entierly disapointed with that fact. On to what your brother had to say... I will bring it up here because if you posted something about it that probably means that you believe it (and yes I read it) I left everything familiar to me to start a new life... thinking I could hold on to you, but realizing I can't or couldn't. So I dropped the one thing that was holding me back from finding out where I really wanted my life to be. I wanted my life to be mine, and I knew that I couldn't share it with someone who wasn't connected to me in all the important ways. We had different views on a lot of things that I compromised with to be with you... but what I compromised would never be able to stick, I needed to be alone or someone on the same level that knew what love was... that had been through things that I have been through, and many other things. We had a good relationship... we got along on many occasions, but you made me feel stupid. Yea, that's right, you underminded everything I would say because my grammar wasn't as perfect as yours, but I would state something and you would be like, you're so stupid for saying that, so I would have to drop my guard and forgive it for your sake... I dropped my guard so much for you, and I shouldn't have. I was not happy in NJ, with my friends or my relationships, and that was obvious... but what was not obvious to me what that I was making myself unhappy to keep you happy. I stopped hanging out with people and other stuff of that nature just so we could compromise on things... I did most of the compromising, and that wasn't changing... I did everything I did for you, and not so much for me (Wrong idea) I'm really sorry that my cousin thinks you're the best thing in the world, if he still does then he should marry you. Because he hears your side... "Oh Lorel broke up with me, and she's a crazy f*in biotch, no reason at all just to get drunk and hook up with guys." And let me tell you, if you told people that than that's just bull. Because I can tell you honestly that I probably drank 6 times since I have been out here, wow only six, or omg that's way too many. It's fun to go out with people that I like, can have friendships with and trust, not fear that they think I'm stupid, or get jealous that I'm grinding with someone that's not my boyfriend. I know for a fact that you probably wouldn't have been able to deal with that, and I really don't care. It's my life, I am living it for myself, and not to make you happy, which it ending up being... calling my mom on the phone and describing our first kiss, WTF never do that to another girl ever again. So to finish up... I did not go and get with all the guys I could. I had a good time being single, and an ever better time finding myself, and my love that I honestly feel for one man. So whether or not you wanted to hear it, it's in what I write and feel. I just only hope that you can get over this break, since it's alread nearly 6 months later (maybe you're alread over it, great) But seriously ignorance at least used to be with you... that's why you didn't and still don't really know why I broke it off... so with your next girlfriend you should understand that you need to understand her and give in a little bit, OMG she used the wrong word in the wrong context... I mean incorrect word. All I have to say is good luck, because at least you used to need it.