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The bottom line is that you're investing a lot of time, energy, and emotion into this relationship. That seems pretty clear by your description.
You need now to decide whether that's a good investment. Are you going to be better off continuing to do this indefinitely, or are you going to be better off calling it a day and concentrating your time and effort into someone else, where the overall payoff is going to be better than what you're likely to get from this girl? (I know this sounds selfish and cynical, but I'm sure she's making the same calculations herself, whether or not she's willing to admit it).
If I was in your situation I would basically pull out of the relationship, giving the obvious reasons in a supportive way, for example "You obviously still love him at some level. It's not emotionally possible for me to have a relationship with you while you still have those feelings, so I can't have an intimate relationship with you any longer. We can still be friends though."
I realize you want to continue the sexual relationship, but you really are playing with fire there. It will end one way or the other, so it's best to end it in a way that is positive and supportive for both of you, that maintains your dignity. Otherwise you will have a triangle situation with her in the middle and the potential for an ugly end. Or in other words, your investment in this girl is probably no longer worth the trouble it's likely to bring you, so you're really better off concentrating your effort on somebody else.
Besides you're both young. There's nothing wrong with playing the field as much as feels right, in fact that's exactly what you should be doing.
Just imagine how good it would be with this girl if she didn't have the hangups with her ex. Then realize that there are probably a hundred girls you could meet tomorrow who fit that description, that you could be having a relationship with instead.
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