Women are funny creatures... men are too for that matter. I agree with what has been said about her- it does seem like she was ready for it to end so she took the chance with a 39 YO. I mean, a little harmless flirting is one thing, but serious flirting behind your back and then going to jump this guy's bones so soon after breaking uo? sounds like she was in your relationship for the companionship there at the end.
So yeah, this sucks. I'll be Job's friend here and sit with you in the ashes on this one- it sucks. Sucks like seven bitches in a bitch boat. But you know what? Every day you get out there and play raquetball/go to a club/go read a new book/go meet new people/go take a roadtrip/go explore life will make up for all the nights you lay in bed staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell happened. Find a good buddy to talk to- for me, when I went through my major breakup, it was my mom. She was there for me 24-7, I'd call her at 2am crying and she'd talk for an hour, always making me feel better, always helping me when I needed it. And us TFP'ers are here for you too! EVERYONE has been through this some time or another... or at least can relate!
Get up off the couch, go work out- get all buff like you always wanted to! Go learn how to play rugby, and meet the goalie's hot sister/cousin/best friend's sister. Go learn ballet and get to stare at all the chcks in leotards and have them all fawing over what a sensitive, appreciative man you are. Most of all, SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING JUST WHO YOU ARE!! you've been with this girl a LOOONG time, from what, age 15 or so till now? You've missed a lot of prime hell-raising years, go make them up! Be 20 again! Enjoy yourself, and really sort out who you are, and what you want. When it's not too painful, and it might take a while, sort out your feelings for this girl. Did you REALLY want to get married? When I was able to take a step back from the old relationship I was in, I realized it was shite to begin with and then it got worse. That made me feel a LOT better.
Also, don't be bitter, it will poison you worse than her. Get over it, move on, let her do her thing, whatever it is. You're gonna move on, and find that you're a lot stronger than you ever thought you were! good luck!
