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Something else that might help is finding and becoming at ease with YOUR sexuality, all others aside.
Think of it this way (and it's pretty much the same with self-confidence in general) if you feel sexy, and comfortable with being aroused and turning yourself on, you're going to turn your partner on. Get to know your sexual self, and you'll be more comfortable and confident sharing it with him.
Wear sexy nighties when you're home alone. Seduce yourself one evening. Put on some sensual music, some scented candles, a glass of wine. Take a bath, and pay attention to what things turn you on. Caress your skin with body oils, become familiar with your body. Think of yourself as a sexy, sensual woman.
When you exude sex (and believe me, over time, you will, if you get to know what you desire sexually and what feels good to you) you concentrate on the experience, the now, and not all those little niggling fears and hang-ups that try to overwhelm you.
Assertiveness comes with confidence and assurance. You learn to focus on what you want, and be persistent about achieving it.
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