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Okay Kramus, thank you! And it's not so much thread-jacking, since I think your statements might help BigD see a different view... in the long run, maybe his current painful breakup will be something he'll be glad for in the future, if it got him out of a potentially worse situation.
Of course now I have a million other questions for you, Kramus. The main ones are, would things have been different between you and your wife if you hadn't had kids? What does it mean when you say "we don't see things the same with the kids?" When did you stop experiencing happiness or spontaneous joy, and if you could change things, what would you do... not have married her in the first place, not have kids, or just do it all over again and lived through it? I found the parallel between your physical and emotional environments very interesting... was it always that way?
Again, like I said, this kind of stuff terrifies me about marriage/kids... and while I don't want to avoid these things just because they scare me, I do want hear other people's reflections on how they wish they'd handled things earlier. Feel free to answer these over PM if it seems it's irrelevant to BigD's case, but somehow I think it might help him feel better? I dunno...
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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