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I think that some personality characteristics are such that they work better if the couple complement each other, and others work best if they are shared.
For example, my SO likes to be the one in charge of the household, and I like to have someone else take the lead. If she suggests I wear a particular dress when we're going out, I wear that dress, no questions asked. We both get something out of it that we need; she gets to be the one in control and gets to see me dressed as she likes, and I don't have the stress of deciding what I need to do to please her and get the pleasure of knowing I've pleased her.
But there are also characteristics that make a relationship stronger if they are shared instead of different. Certain values, such as how important monogamy is, or whether to have children and how to raise them, work to strengthen a relationship when shared and may weaken it if they are not.
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