VirFighter

A quick word of warning, this post is probably gonna be fairly long.

Anyways, first off a little about me, I'm 19 and have never had much luck with girls. However while away at school in Atlanta, I came to terms with it after beating myself up over it in high school, I enjoyed being single, spending time with friends, and didn't push myself too hard on the girl issues. I still didn't have much luck, but hey, I was happy.

Anyways I come home from school and I'm bored during the day while waiting to hear back from a couple of jobs and I meet this girl online. She apparently found me on a dating site that I filled out during high school (that was part of me worrying too much about not having a girlfirend). Anyways, we talk for awhile, she seems really cool, I gave her my number and told her to give me a call if she ever wants to do anything.

Last Wednesday I get a call from her inviting me over to her friend's house where she was hanging out. After talking for awhile, they decide to take me out. We end up in a gay club (a story in itself, her friend is gay) and she made me feel completely comfortable there. This is someone who had just met and talked his first homosexual and was now at a gay club and to top it off I'm not a big club person either, culture shock indeed. Things go well and at the end of the night we end up kissing one another (remember this is big for me, not much luck in the past).

We talking online and on the phone and going out together for the next few nights (we were together wednesday --> sunday) because she has accepted a job working as a secretary at a camp in the mountains and she will be leaving on monday morning. We have a great time together, she met some of my friends and I met some of hers, and I enjoyed myself talking to her and being with her. Sunday night, her last night here, we fooled around together. To me this is very meaningful, a new experience in life with someone whom I like more everytime I see her.

So I was happy and a little sad at the same time when we parted ways Sunday night. I saw this relationship as having a lot potential but she will be leaving. About 2:30 that morning (about an hour or after dropping her off), she calls me to tell me that her uncle died. She is pretty emotional and said that I was the only one she coudl think of to call. We talk, I try to be supportive, make her feel alright, etc and we end up being on the phone together until about 4:00. We talk again on Monday and then again on Wednesday.

Wednesday night I got to see her again. She was staying at her aunt's house and basically her entire family was there. She said that she wanted to see me and be able to get out of the house for a little while. So I pick her up, we spend sometime together then I go back, meet some of her family, and just keep her company for awhile.

Yesterday we met for lunch and then went back to her Aunt's house again and we entertained her two young cousins (the ones that lost their Dad). I feel so happy being with her, even if she is just laying with her head on my shoulder while we watch her cousins play a video game.

That was the last time I saw her. The funeral was today and she was leaving for the camp directly after that. I have her email address and phone number for the camp and she said she wants to keep in touch and hopefuly I can come visit her on her days off. This is good, I want to keep talking to her and I sure as hell want to see her again.

However, I'm feeling very confused. When you put it into perspective, I have only known this girl for a little more than a week but I feel like it has been a month or more. I feel like we have some kind of connection, I certainly like her a lot and I thinks she feels similarly towards me. Yet we have moved incredibly fast and have been saturated with each other for the past week. So I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is truly something that could turn into love or if it is simply extreme happiness for finally finding "someone".

I'm thinking ahead on this thing and I don't want it to end. I feel like there is something so special about her but I can't put my finger on it. However, she is going to be gone until August with me only seeing her maybe a handful of times before I head back to school in Atlanta. She goes to school in Raleigh.... long distance stuff usually doesn't work.

Can anyone provide any advice? I don't want to grow dependant on someone and set myself for a huge heartbreak later on down the road... but I'm afraid I'm already on that path. I'm really confused on how to handle this. Right now my plan is just to keep in contact with her this summer and see her whenever I can. That doesn't sound like too bad of a plan, but I'm already starting to miss her.

I think that is everything, I am really sorry for the length of this post but I feel like I had to give as much information as possible to really undersand the situation. Thanks, those of you that read through it.

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