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Bunnybear, I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending you positive energy. You have a lot going on! It sounds like there are two people in your relationship that need help dealing with their sexuality and sexual backgrounds. Please do not take on the entire burden. Your bf obviously has his own hangups. Have you thought about couples sex therapy? At the very least, couples counseling in which you 100% honestly deal with the reality of both your pasts and your current relationship. No one on this forum, no matter how good our intentions, is going to be able to help you. I believe you already know that.
Other suggestions -- maybe not as "harsh" or "severe" are: 1. Ask him to allow you to watch him maturbate (even to porn) so that you can see how to better please him. Watch a few times, then join in. This may help you learn how to please him better -- how much pressure he likes, how fast to stroke, etc. 2. Be "live porn" for him. Ask him to take pictures of you. Pose for him. Give him you to masturbate too (because he is going to do it.) 3. Stroke or suck him while he is masturbating you. 4. Let him know, through your praise, how much you LOVE touching him! Tell him what is attractive about him and his sexuality! 5. Talk to him -- you both need to be honest with each other.
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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