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Originally Posted by maleficent
Why does he not like you using toys?
He doesn't like making a mess? Keep a towel near the bed.... that excuse just seems strange to me, that there are some deeper issues there with him and not you at all. What's his sexual history?
The fact that you don't like your 'bits' is very concerning,there's a lot there to love and to give you pleasure. They aren't dirty or bad. Has the counseling you've had helped you much? maybe a different therapist?
It's good that he's patient with you... Have y'all talked about what you really want out of the relationship?
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He wants to be the one giving me pleasure, so if something were to replace his 'job', he gets a bit jealous.
I've had 3 therapists, nothing can really help me, only I can help myself, talking about it just makes it worse, I've been alot better now than when I was seeing a therapist once a week to talk about it.
I don't know much about his sexual history, from what I know it's all normal stuff. He finds the end result of his orgasm disgusting so I guess that could be why. I've never even seen/felt/tasted cum before because he just doesn't do that stuff around me.
I just want to get him off. It feels so one-sided. He gets me off and it ends there. He'd have a massive boner and just not touch or let me touch and go to sleep. Or if I were to touch or attempt to do anything, everything I do doesn't feel good. I'm not sure if I can do the whole head thing. In my head, oral sex is a huge turn on.... but I'm afraid I'll be awful or he'll compare me to his past girlfriends (in his head, not to my face). Last time I begged him to let me get him off and he just said no, and I got so upset, I rolled over to the other side of the bed and stayed there trying not to cry. I talked to him about it and his reason was that he didn't want to make a mess. He could've used my shirt or whatever, I'll sleep shirtless. He just... doesn't want to.
So I think of stupid crap.. like he's not attracted to me, or he wishes I was someone else etc.
I think my shyness/insecurity is what's killing everything.
Edit: Also, there has been times where he let me do stuff, and it'd have a positive effect on him and he would lose his boner. I think I turn him off or something.
