Men masterbate. It's like breathing or crapping. Some men use porn to get the juices flowing, so to speak. It's very rarely a cause for concern, but society and religion often make us feel like it's bad, so we get insecure or ashamed...hence your discomfort and his need to hide it from you. Unless he's really foolish and immature, he's not comparing you to the 2 dimensional images. He's been with you for two years and you haven't had sex with him and he's still there and obviously delights in getting you off. It's not meant as rejection when he won't let you get him off. Maybe you should communicate to him how much it would please you to get him off and ask him what he likes.
If you aren't ready to have sex, don't. You say that something happened to you that makes you uncomfortable about it. Would you be willing to work this out in counseling?
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Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)
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