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Your nervousness probably comes from several sources: upbringing(bad girls do this, good girls dont do that), self-consciousness(am I attractive enough),
fear of rejection.
Sometimes forcing yourself to move beyond your past thinking is the only way to go. No one ever died from trying to be more assertive and your fears, while they come from somewhere, are just that-fears. There is nothing tangible about them. Fear controls way too much of our thinking, holds us back from personal growth and prevents self-discovery.
You could try a sort of role-play. By pretending to be someone you aren't, someone a bit more assertive, perhaps even a bit slutty and just going for broke, you may discover things about yourself that surprise you. It's hard to do, and can be a bit intimidating at first, but you have nothing to lose, everything to gain. This will bring you out of yourself and release those constrictive fears that have been holding you back. In time, this will become a part of you and you won't have to try or pretend.
Ask yourself why waking him up with a bj made you so nervous, tell yourself your fears were totally unfounded (which they were, obviously) and keep at it-it will become second nature and the freedom you finally feel will carry into other aspects of your life-I guarantee it.
Good luck!
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