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Seething, I think the point that Ziadel is making is that this guy is hurting himself more than anyone else, and out of Ziadel's compassion for this friend, it's turning him inside out.
Sorry Ziadel if I'm putting words into your mouth here, but that's what I get from your post.
I've known people who lived a loveless existance, who balked at the sight of anything they didn't 'tolerate' who, later have changed themselves around entirely. There really is hope for your friend. It might take forever, but it really could happen. You can't make it happen, there are truths that your friend will only be able to stumble over in the dark by himself. You might consider explaining to him how much it hurts you to see him acting like this - not actually do it, but it might be worth thinking about it.
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