inebriated ramblings on empathy? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ziadel · 03-02-2005, 07:22 PM

right, so. kisses are now to be considered evil.

I have managed to meet, and somehow benefit from the existance of such a black hole of a person, that when I sit down, in private, and ponder what his life must be like, I wanna fucking cry. serious, I started balling.

This is a guy who treats his gf like an employee and brokers 'deals' with her. Like she gets a ring, but they're never going to get married because and I quote, 'women just want to take your stuff'

fucking a man, your hollow, your beyond hollow, if you were hollow you would have more of a sense of fulfillment, your a fucking reflection of a shadow of something hollow.

yeah, so homosexuals are evil. thats what he tells me, he sees two women kiss, and he gets that knot in the pit of his stomach, and that dry taste of filth in his mouth, and he just knows its evil. Another human being witnesses what is at least, an act of affection between two people, and what can at its best be a sometimes profound expression of love, and it makes him sick.

I keep hearing this stuff, and I gently challenge, I criticize, I point out different ways to look at it and ways to relate, they're rejected, and its not that my efforts to try to make him more of a tolerant person are failing, its just that theres someone out there, who can witness an act of love, and it makes him feel physically ill.

that's terrible, and when I think about it makes me want to cry, and I can't detach myself from the situation, prolly because this guy has been such a help to me.

this is gonna eat me alive. this is worse than that pizza parlor crap, the cell phone guys suffering was over in a few minutes, this guys suffering will be his whole life, except, he doesn't even know it

mebbe this should have been a journal entry, but I felt more like hearing what people had to say, then just putting it out for people to read.

Seething · 03-02-2005, 07:36 PM

I'm sorry, but I can't take the "oh yeah, that guy's hopeless" angle and agree with you. As long as he isn't hurting anyone, it's his right to think whatever he wants. There are a lot of ignorant people out there, so there's no use getting worked up over it. You said he's helped you out, so he can't be that bad of a guy. Focus on his finer points. Again, as long as he doesn't hurt anyone else, his thoughts are his own.

03-03-2005, 05:18 AM

Seething, I think the point that Ziadel is making is that this guy is hurting himself more than anyone else, and out of Ziadel's compassion for this friend, it's turning him inside out.

Sorry Ziadel if I'm putting words into your mouth here, but that's what I get from your post.

I've known people who lived a loveless existance, who balked at the sight of anything they didn't 'tolerate' who, later have changed themselves around entirely. There really is hope for your friend. It might take forever, but it really could happen. You can't make it happen, there are truths that your friend will only be able to stumble over in the dark by himself. You might consider explaining to him how much it hurts you to see him acting like this - not actually do it, but it might be worth thinking about it.

03-02-2005, 07:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
ziadel Myrmidon Location: In the twilight and mist.	inebriated ramblings on empathy? right, so. kisses are now to be considered evil. I have managed to meet, and somehow benefit from the existance of such a black hole of a person, that when I sit down, in private, and ponder what his life must be like, I wanna fucking cry. serious, I started balling. This is a guy who treats his gf like an employee and brokers 'deals' with her. Like she gets a ring, but they're never going to get married because and I quote, 'women just want to take your stuff' fucking a man, your hollow, your beyond hollow, if you were hollow you would have more of a sense of fulfillment, your a fucking reflection of a shadow of something hollow. yeah, so homosexuals are evil. thats what he tells me, he sees two women kiss, and he gets that knot in the pit of his stomach, and that dry taste of filth in his mouth, and he just knows its evil. Another human being witnesses what is at least, an act of affection between two people, and what can at its best be a sometimes profound expression of love, and it makes him sick. I keep hearing this stuff, and I gently challenge, I criticize, I point out different ways to look at it and ways to relate, they're rejected, and its not that my efforts to try to make him more of a tolerant person are failing, its just that theres someone out there, who can witness an act of love, and it makes him feel physically ill. that's terrible, and when I think about it makes me want to cry, and I can't detach myself from the situation, prolly because this guy has been such a help to me. this is gonna eat me alive. this is worse than that pizza parlor crap, the cell phone guys suffering was over in a few minutes, this guys suffering will be his whole life, except, he doesn't even know it mebbe this should have been a journal entry, but I felt more like hearing what people had to say, then just putting it out for people to read. __________________ Ron Paul '08 Vote for Freedom Go ahead and google Dr. Ron Paul. You'll like what you read.

03-02-2005, 07:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
Seething Insane	I'm sorry, but I can't take the "oh yeah, that guy's hopeless" angle and agree with you. As long as he isn't hurting anyone, it's his right to think whatever he wants. There are a lot of ignorant people out there, so there's no use getting worked up over it. You said he's helped you out, so he can't be that bad of a guy. Focus on his finer points. Again, as long as he doesn't hurt anyone else, his thoughts are his own. __________________ Common sense is uncommon. Ironic, isn't it?

03-03-2005, 05:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
zen_tom Guest	Seething, I think the point that Ziadel is making is that this guy is hurting himself more than anyone else, and out of Ziadel's compassion for this friend, it's turning him inside out. Sorry Ziadel if I'm putting words into your mouth here, but that's what I get from your post. I've known people who lived a loveless existance, who balked at the sight of anything they didn't 'tolerate' who, later have changed themselves around entirely. There really is hope for your friend. It might take forever, but it really could happen. You can't make it happen, there are truths that your friend will only be able to stumble over in the dark by himself. You might consider explaining to him how much it hurts you to see him acting like this - not actually do it, but it might be worth thinking about it.