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Old 03-01-2005, 04:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
abaya
 
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Location: Iceland
Hey, thanks all. I didn't expect such detailed responses, so I really appreciate what everyone said. Funny, if I was responding to a thread like this I'd say a lot of similar things. It's just applying it to myself that's really hard@

Raenna74: do you have any suggestions for "spicing things up" over the distance (for either me or him)? How do you, personally, keep a relationship from becoming a habit or a rut?

Sage: Yep, I'm all too aware of the mother stuff, believe me! But I've been going to counseling for a while and am going to continue working on my insecurities (esp. inherited from my mother) in a relationship. I think I do need to spend more time on myself (not necessarily thinking, since I do that too much), working out, cleaning my apartment, doing things that bring me satisfaction. And I just have to just get used to the long-distance thing, since as long as I'm doing my PhD (at least a year, maybe 2 more), it's going to be that way. I am very glad that we do get to see each other most weekends, though.

SiN: see above... I'm constantly working on making it come from within, as I'm very aware that it's one of my own colorful "issues" and has very little to do with my bf. It's funny, when I'm single I'm confident as hell!... don't need emotional fulfillment from anyone, not nearly as much as when I'm in a relationship. Need to figure out why I get so damn needy...

*Nikki:* How long did it take you to accept your boyfriend as he was? I'm so impressed with your ability to disconnect your behavior from his response. I want to be more like that, just can't seem to force my mind to act that way, somehow (hence my frustration).

However I am feeling somewhat more positive today, and I know my bf and I are both working hard to keep this love going strong over the distance... still, I can't wait to grow out of this stage!!
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

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