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Sillygirl, my ex was like that. At one point he had 11 charge cards that I didn't know about, all maxed out. (Unfortunately he had a gambling habit -- unlike your SO.) Anyway, we went to counseling and developed an "envelope system." We wrote a budget. On pay day we would take out cash to fill the "spending" envelopes -- which included: gas, food, clothing, personal care, haircuts, allowance, etc. When we needed gas, we took cash from the gas envelope. When we were low on groceries, we took money from the food envelope. When the money was gone, it was gone. Even if it meant cleaning the cupboards and scrapping the bottom, we did not buy more food. It worked! He only spent what was there as he had no choice.
To this day my budget is very detailed. Lebell and I work much better together and ATM a lot more -- but we stay in budget. It is a major impact on a marriage --- so please address the issue.
(You may pm me if you want a detailed list of what I budget for. Believe me, if we might need it, it is in the budget -- thus we never "rob Peter to pay Paul." Good luck!")
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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