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Something I never do...
I rewrote a poem. The original was written on a contact high. It's fairly spontaneous, very passionate and a complete gush of emotion. I was never happy with it to the degree where I couldn't introduce it without mentioning *I was on a contact high* while writing it. So anyways, the new version is a much smoother, more clever interpretation. I seem to like it more. You decide.
Original:
I want to write you a poem
that you will recite as it's created
with every whisp of the quill
you will speak the line
as a breathy gasp
and a tense exhalation
my art's marionette
your body will voice
every verse and every stress
and it will sing
it will enhance my words
with it's symphony
every stroke of the pen
evokes your passionate scream
serenade me with my own work
with vicious pleasure
call for me and let it take you over
let each stanza possess you
the rhythm and the meter
drawing forth your soul's melody
SING FOR ME
until your throat rasps
until you pant in strained waves
and beg me for the encore
New:
If you could feel each line I pen
Every syllable transcribed
With each stroke I take, you'll know
and all my rhymes imbibed
Coaxing little whispers from
your wetted trembling lips
my words take hold your shaking hands
and rest they twixt your hips
My letters form your countersign
to cast off your soul vest
as stanzas will you moan my name
sweat forming on your breast
quaking from my meter quick
you're crying out for me
submitting to my passion's voice
my quill's metonymy
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