alicat

I realize there are those of you who have to deal with situations like this on a regular basis and so I appologize to you for whom this is a normal thing.

My hubby and I have been together for 16 yrs. since we were 17 yrs. old. Neither of us is very social and we have always prefered each others company to other people. We moved across the state (Michigan) 11 yrs. ago and only hubby has made one permanent friend in that time, meaning I don't have even one friend (I don't bar-hop, go to clubs, attend church or anything else that one might meet people at, and hubbies best friend is an ex-coworker.)

We've only been apart from each other at the max 1 1/2 weeks in 16 yrs. The first week of Dec. we went to South Africa for hubbies job. It was a stipulation of him agreeing to go that his company paid my way also as we were initially supposed to be there for 6-8 weeks and it was inconsievable to either of us to be apart that long. We ended up only being there for 2 weeks because the company we were there for wasn't quite ready for hubby to do his thing. Now, hubby has to go back to finish the job and his company (understandably considering a round trip ticket costs $3000) won't send me with him.

Including the fact that I abnormally worry about things (like him being in a plane for 17 1/2 hours from Michigan to Cape Town, therefore, crashes. Or being in S.A., therefore, violent crimes), I can't get over the thought of us being apart for three weeks this time. We are each others best friend and spend 99.9% of our time together and I just cannot wrap my brain around him being gone for three weeks.

God, I realize this must sound so trivial to alot of you but it is huge to me as I don't have anyone else in my life besides my sister, her hubby and my dear dad. In day-to-day life it's just me and hubby. At home I will be utterly alone and missing hubbies presence every minute of each day for three weeks. I'm not really looking for responses I guess, just a place to vent my sadness. I should be thankful that this is my biggest worry and not something catasrophic.

Still, everyday when hubby should be getting home, I will miss him. Everyday when we normally cook meals together, I will miss him. Everyday when we watch our shows together, I will miss him. And every night when we normally go to sleep together, I will miss him (and hope his scent is still lingering on his pillow for me to smell). The TFP will be my only familiar comfort in his absence (thanks guys!). And thanks to all of you who have read this far!

Ali

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"You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."--Ralph Waldo Emerson