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dualman7 · 02-02-2005, 02:15 PM

thanks for the replies. I wish it were the case yakk, but unfrotunately I don't think there's too much genius in this noggin.

I'll give you an example; as I type this, as soon as I hit submit, instantly I will second guess regarding my choice of words. Then when nobody responds for about fifteen minutes, I am sure I'll think of a different self sabotaging thought. 90% of the time I am just so insecure that it's not even funny. What gives me hope is that there are those times when I feel totally confident.

When having conversations with certain people I am uncomfortable with, I feel like I am performing infront of Simon Cowell. Waiting and dreading for their response to see if they approve. Am I better off just being quiet around these people? Damned if I do, damned if i don't type of things. I keep trying to figure out why i am so uncomfortable around them but I can't. They haven't really offended me in anyway. And they are pretty nice most of the time. Wish i knew why I am so uncomfortable around most people.

I have had a great childhood with two parents who love me. For the last six years I have been a real loner, and I am sure this has a lot to do with it. There are a few friends I have, who make me feel very comfortable and I become extremelly outgoing, outspoken, and very confident, but as we depart, so does the confident me.

After reading all that it's probavly hard to believe, but I am actually an inspiring director. Same thing though. When i enter the booth, the confident me magically shows up and I produce great work while being a very good leader. Then it all magically fades. Life is flying by, and I am watching more reality TV then actually living in reality.

This is way too complex for anyone to respond to, I understand that. just started writing and didn't stop. I am just so uncomfortable in my skin, and it affects everything I do. I do work out twice a day. hopefully slowly but surely the confidence will come and stick. I feel like I have truly been blessed with amazing talents, but I am hindering myself with all of my insecurities. I won't be able to live with myself If i don't accomplish my goals. But the way things are now, I sometimes drop so low that I can't even look people in the eyes. I look in the mirror way too much, which I can't explain.

02-02-2005, 02:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
dualman7 Crazy	thanks for the replies. I wish it were the case yakk, but unfrotunately I don't think there's too much genius in this noggin. I'll give you an example; as I type this, as soon as I hit submit, instantly I will second guess regarding my choice of words. Then when nobody responds for about fifteen minutes, I am sure I'll think of a different self sabotaging thought. 90% of the time I am just so insecure that it's not even funny. What gives me hope is that there are those times when I feel totally confident. When having conversations with certain people I am uncomfortable with, I feel like I am performing infront of Simon Cowell. Waiting and dreading for their response to see if they approve. Am I better off just being quiet around these people? Damned if I do, damned if i don't type of things. I keep trying to figure out why i am so uncomfortable around them but I can't. They haven't really offended me in anyway. And they are pretty nice most of the time. Wish i knew why I am so uncomfortable around most people. I have had a great childhood with two parents who love me. For the last six years I have been a real loner, and I am sure this has a lot to do with it. There are a few friends I have, who make me feel very comfortable and I become extremelly outgoing, outspoken, and very confident, but as we depart, so does the confident me. After reading all that it's probavly hard to believe, but I am actually an inspiring director. Same thing though. When i enter the booth, the confident me magically shows up and I produce great work while being a very good leader. Then it all magically fades. Life is flying by, and I am watching more reality TV then actually living in reality. This is way too complex for anyone to respond to, I understand that. just started writing and didn't stop. I am just so uncomfortable in my skin, and it affects everything I do. I do work out twice a day. hopefully slowly but surely the confidence will come and stick. I feel like I have truly been blessed with amazing talents, but I am hindering myself with all of my insecurities. I won't be able to live with myself If i don't accomplish my goals. But the way things are now, I sometimes drop so low that I can't even look people in the eyes. I look in the mirror way too much, which I can't explain. Last edited by dualman7; 02-02-2005 at 02:31 PM..