My lord this is a great forum . . . . . .
At this point I don't know the boy enough to be able to answer these questions, but they're all good and worth looking into.
About the Asperger's, I'd say his mom fits the description more than he does, although he could be a borderline case (I'm familiar with it because a neighbor boy has it seriously and it is obvious). He doesn't have any soothing behaviors that I've noticed. But he does seem uncomfortable most of the time, and you sense immediately that something is off kilter. His reactions are not smooth and not entirely appropriate.
On the eagerness to please, that's definitely true. He needs praise and I'm happy to give it to him.
On the learning disorder, that's worth checking into. Unfortunately he seems to definitely have an aversion to writing things down, so it's difficult to know. I'll ask him to do a math problem, and he will stubbornly try to do it in his head first, no matter how hard it is, and even if he can do I practically have to beg him to write down the answer. Exasperating.
My first thought was that he was in some sort of conflict with his mother, and was deliberately failing to spite her. But it might be deeper than that.
In any case, my concern right now is that he has major final exams in all his classes coming up (the second trimester exams). And what he will probably do is sit there in all his exams, work out the answers in his head, and not write any of them down.
Unless I can do something to take him out of this behavior. Most of his teachers have given up, and say he should be expelled and put in a special school. He does seem to like me, so maybe I can get some positive changes.
I'll be calling his counselor this afternoon, to see what her take is.
Thanks again everybody.
