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my adivce---DON'T TELL THE MOTHER INLAW! ---LOL
when my wife and I announce our plans, her mother stepped in and began making a big elaborate deal of it. We tried and tried to tell her that we didn't want a big deal, just a couple of friends and close family, but would she listen? Noooooo. Our next approach was to tell my wifes dad (who was paying for it) that we wanted it small, but that didn't work either. Our solution -- grab couple of close friends, my parents and go to Lake Tahoe shot gun style. We still had the big elaborate wedding a few monthes later, but didn't tell her parents until after 2-3 years of being married.
In the end, we got our wedding, and the in-laws got theirs.
kevin
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