I am that way about my grandfather, and he's been gone 10 years..he and I had a very special relationship that wasnt shared with him by my cousins...at least I dont think it was.. I will have a dream about him and wake up missing him something awful. I talk to him a lot, like I used to...laying in bed at nite if I have a problem, or if something particuarly wonderful has happened. . I wish I could tell you how to deal with it in a way that would work...but 10 years later I obviously still havent found a way. Just know that you're not the only one dealing with something like that
