ironmaiden7o7

My mother died in June of 2003 and I've never had the courage to speak to anyone about her death. I miss her a whole lot and often picture my life with her. I know she will never return, I will never have another moment with her again, nor will I ever be able to touch her again, but I often sit down during my quiet moments and just wish I had her. At times, I feel weak that I don't have parents, though I have people that cares about me and people that would do anything for me. My boyfriend's parents are exceptional, they are always there, but the fact that my OWN mother is my OWN mother usually haunts my mind and I can't seem to get her out of my head.

There are times when I am really angry with her for various reasons and there are also times when I miss her so much that my chest hurts and yet, there is noone to tell. I am looking at this computer screen and typing on the keyboard as a way of reaching out to someone because I am currently missing her and wish I had her around. Is there a better way to deal with death? Please don't get me wrong, I know that there are much, much worse occurances around the world that would make mine seem like something really minor but someone once told me that whenever I feel lost and in need of an ear or some eyes, I should reach out to people ...