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Originally Posted by uptown
Sex/intimacy is an important part of a marriage, without it you might as well be living with a sibling imho. I do not advocate cheating but I have to scratch my head in amazement at folks who do the following things then cry foul if the spouse they've abandoned steps out with another,no matter how discretely.
How can it be "cheating" if you've basically opted out of the sexual part of your marriage ?
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Why Uptown are you choosing to stay in your marriage then?? You are obviously very frustrated with the state of things . . . What do you get out of your marriage? emotional support? There must be a reason why you stay and remain faithful . . .?
I am a bit of an anomaly as far as woman go . . . i like sex every day, i have a high sex drive that matches my spouse . . . we've been together for a long, long time, 9 years together, 3 years married . . . We have communicated our sexual needs during the span of our relationship . . . I had sexless marriage dicussion with my husband last night after reading these posts . . . And it was an interesting response he gave . . .
If he just stopped being intimate with me or grew uninterested in our sex life altogether and it wasn't just a phase . . . He said he would allow me to openly take a lover, since he couldn't satisfy me or didn't want to, he felt it would be unfair to force me to be celibate . . . But i am not sure I would take a lover, i don't approve of cheating . . . I am not sure if i would stay married to him if we were in a sexless marriage, albeit, sex isn't Everything, i am NOT saying that sex is That important that i would nessasarily break up over it . . . but it is important human need to have intimacy and since i am a sexual person, it is a small but important part of my existence on this planet . . . I think what makes a marriage is lots of communication, mutual friendship and SHARED intimacy . . . Take out the intimacy part and what do you have? Just living with your good friend?
So, it begs the question:
If you are just cohabitating with your spouse . . . than isn't that more like a roomate than a wife/husband??
Why don't you just leave then? Why don't people leave sexless marriages? Why do they stay?
That sounds a little harsh . . . but i am merely illustrating a point, so everyone please don't jump on that with a knee jerk response
I know of several couples who are in sexless marriages . . . and i know there are many of them out there . . . how are people addressing that issue?
Thanks everyone for your posts, please continue to share as i feel this topic touches a nerve with many, many couples . . .! Be candid! Thanks!
sweetpea